Church at Kwik Trip

The summer heat was too much for us yesterday, so the kids and I headed to Lake Michigan to meet some friends and cool off.  We ended up bringing two extra kids because our family motto is "the more, the merrier".  

Without air conditioning in our van, we were already hot and bothered when we stopped for donuts at Kwik Trip.  All six of us breathed a sigh of relief as we entered the store and felt the instant cooling effect of central air.  Donuts and drinks in hand, we got into line, not too anxious to get back in the furnace of the van. 

When an older lady stepped into line behind us, I offered her a spot ahead of us in line.  She thanked us, smiled kindly and chatted with us. As we talked about the weather and our destination, a sacred-like connection occurred. It's difficult to explain, but she seemed familiar to me, even though I knew we had never met. Our souls seemed to know each other.  Even though our conversation hadn't gone beyond small talk, I felt a connection, an understanding.

As she turned to leave, she looked me in the eyes and said "I'm going to pray for you and your family." I wanted to grasp her hand, feeling a fullness in my heart.
"Will you pray for safety for us today?" I replied.  
"I will," she responded. "God bless you and your family."

That sweet stranger had encouraged me.  This encouragement strengthened me and reminded me where my help truly comes from. God was with us, between us and within us.  It was then I realized I was experiencing Church, right there in the middle of Kwik Trip.  It may seem that I'm over-analyzing the encounter or making a big deal out of a short conversation.  But shouldn't fellowship between believers always be celebrated?  It's like being in a foreign country far from home and finding someone who speaks your native language.  It's a window into heaven that needs to be treasured.

Our pastor, Ken Nabi often says at the end of church services, "Go, be the Church".  I think this lady modeled that for me yesterday.  Church isn't a service.  It's not a building or an event.  It's how we demonstrate the love of Christ to each other in daily life.  It's how we grow together, support one another and encourage one another.  Not just on Sundays, but every moment of our lives.  We are the Church. 

Let's go be the Church!

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."          ~Hebrews 10:24-26

N.J. buried in the sand by the boys

  

Have you experienced Church in unexpected places?  I'd love to hear about it.  Feel free to share your comments below. 

Artfully sewing,

Angela Jean  

The Lead Suit

 So far, this spring has been rough.  It teases us with a sunny day here and there, but then it goes back to cold, dreary rain.  As the dampness continue to invade, it's hard to prevent it from clouding my heart and soul.  Having struggled with depression and anxiety for the last 10 years or so, I've come to expect the transition from winter to spring to be a struggle.  Yet, each year it's a heaviness I dread.  

Ice photo by my hubby! tomotte imaging

It starts with a feeling of stirring in my soul.  Like a stove with a boiling pot of water, my anxiousness rolls within my chest.  It is like a current of electricity that flows through my body that seems to only be relieved through constant movement; jiggling my leg, clicking my pen, crying my eyes out or yelling at my poor family. 

On top of the stirring, there is a contrary force of heaviness which I've notoriously named the Lead Suit.  I compare it to the lead apron the dentist lays on your chest for x-rays, except it's an entire suit that weighs heavily on my frame. Contrary to the anxiousness, the depression makes me heavy and hard to move.  I want to hide under my covers, sit on the couch, isolate myself and eat chocolate.  These two conflicting actions push on me and out from me.  I feel like climbing the walls, but don't have the energy to do so.  It's very tiring and emotional.

In order to battle the boiling chest and shed the lead suit, I have a steps I need to take in order to make it through.  If I follow these steps to take care of myself, I not only survive the season, but may even thrive during the transition.  Depression is a whole person disorder, meaning I need to treat my whole person; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Physical Care

I cringe even as I write this because this step is probably the one I have the hardest time following!  I know I'd feel better by the end of the day if I:

• Eat nutritionally - I need to avoid caffeine, sugar and comfort eating. Whole foods like fresh fruits and veggies fuel me up.  Sugar and fats drag me down. (Oh, I will miss you, beloved chocolate!)
• Exercise daily - I don't need to do vigorous 50 minute exercise videos every day in order to count it valuable. Even just a leisurely walk gets fresh air in my lungs and revives me.
• Sleep routinely - Going to bed on time avoids anxious nights and improves my mood.
• Take my medication - I have come to accept that needing to take medication to battle my depression and anxiety is okay! AND it helps.

Emotional Care

Emotions run wild during depressive episodes, just ask my husband! But when I care for myself emotionally, I can often avoid major breakdowns or give myself grace when I do. I know I'll feel better emotionally if I:

• Go see a counselor - Sometimes I need a professional to help me sort out things. An outside view can give me great perspective.
• Journal my thoughts - When I'm overwhelmed, writing out my thoughts and emotions helps me process and decompress. Then I close the notebook and go on with my day. Very helpful!
• What fills and drains my tank? - This one I'll go into more another time, but basically this is what it means. Before doing any activity, I ask myself, "Will this fill or drain my tank (my heart and soul)?" I need to set reasonable expectations and allow myself to change my mind about what fills and drains me. Babysitting = drain. Playing cards with Nora = fill. Grocery shopping = drain. Caring for my chickens = fill. So I need to make sure I have more filling things in my schedule than draining things so I don't empty myself.  Tricky, but important.
•  Just say no - Draining things need to be limited. I just can't do as much when I'm depressed.  So, I practice in front of the mirror; "No, I can't bake cookies for the bake sale", "No , I can't head up that committee right now", etc. Then when I get that phone call I just say no. Healthy boundaries are especially important while wearing the Lead Suit.
• Avoid isolation - Even though it goes against my feelings, I need to keep around people in order to keep emotionally healthy. Now, not just anybody will do.  In fact, the wrong type of people can add weight to my Lead Suit. I need SAFE friends and family around me who build me up and encourage me gently.  The people who don't understand depression or drain me get a back seat for a while until I recover.

Spiritual Care

Having grown up in an alcoholic family, I have the Twelve Steps embedded in my mind.  Although I used to mock the Twelve Steps (as well as the Serenity Prayer) I've found they really makes a lot of sense when applied to any type of struggle.  I especially like to repeat the first three steps to myself:

• Pray these steps: - This I got straight from AA's Big Book:
• I can't - I admit I am powerless in overcoming my depression on my own.
• God can - Only a Power greater than myself can restore my sanity.
• Let Him! - I turn my will/life over to God's care.  

• Focus on the positive, avoid the negative - I need to read/think/watch/listen to uplifting and encouraging things during depressive times.  Everything from movies to the internet to books need to be things that uplift me, not drag me down.  Now is not the time to read "Of Mice and Men" or watch "Saving Private Ryan".
• Post encouraging quotes - I have quotes that encourage me taped inside my cupboards and medicine cabinets.  Most are Bible verses, but some are from people like Corrie Tenboom, Abraham Lincoln and others.  I also have cards that my sweet friends and family have written to me.  Encouraging!
• Spend time alone - Although I just wrote above that I don't want to isolate myself, I do have to acknowledge that one of the big fillers of my tank is time alone.  Being a home-school family, time alone is nearly impossible!  Good boundaries help in achieving this for myself.
• Rely on God's grace - When I'm depressed, I have a hard time focusing on prayer and Bible reading.  One year, I pretty much could only read Psalm 143 over and over again. God's grace will sustain me during this time.  He is with me in the valley and I know He loves me and gives me the grace and mercy I need to persevere during this trial. 

Depression and anxiety are difficult loads to bear.  They are a whole person disorder that effect you physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Maybe you know someone who struggles with this or you yourself are struggling.  You are not alone.  Get the help you need and ask for help.  I hope these steps will help you bear your depression and anxiety.  Leave your comments below and forward this to someone you know who might need them.  

Remember, You can't, God can, so let Him!  


 

A Remnant Piece of Wrinkled Fabric

A Remnant Piece of Wrinkled Fabric

"Hard times come again no more" are lyrics from my favorite old-time Steven Foster song.  It used to be a theme song for my life.  Who wouldn't nod in agreement to those words?  Hard times are, after all by nature, hard.  But in recent years I have slowly been learning to believe differently.  Maybe I should be embracing hardships instead of bracing for them.  Recently I thought of an analogy to help describe my new beliefs while ironing some fabric for an new project.

When searching for material, I often have to dig through piles of fabrics. Okay, I almost ALWAYS have to dig.  I'll have that one fabric in mind that has strayed from it's intended location, but in determination I dig and dig to find it.  At last, I'll find it hidden and crumpled at the bottom of my shelf.  Picked over by more flashier pieces, these misfits are thoughtlessly shuffled to the bottom of the pile.  But now, I find the treasure I was searching for.  With my fingers I unsuccessfully try to smooth out the creases and bends that distort the true beauty of the patterns.  The threads naturally gravitate back to their familiar folds, unwilling to conform to my finger's coaxing.

So, I turn on the iron and add water to make steam.  Beginning in one corner I gently, but ever so firmly begin pressing the fabric flat as the hot steam works out even the deepest creases.  The threads seem to groan at the heat and weep in protest as the steam sends a pleasing fragrance upward, almost as in sacrifice.  The smell of the hot fabric is pleasant to me, matching the satisfaction of a crumpled mess being formed into it's original design.  The beauty was always there, but hidden by the ugly wrinkles.  In a sign of satisfaction, I snap the fabric to attention and gently lay it out for working.  It's now ready to fulfill it's purpose.

So often I have felt like that piece of fabric.  Crumpled and comfortable in my dark corner of the closet, I can hide where I feel ugly, weak and unused. After all, I tell myself, I am not very usable because I am just a remnant piece of wrinkled fabric.

But then the Quilter seeks me out.  He searches for me because He has a purpose for me even in my weakness.  He finds me in my chosen darkness and He rejoices because He has found me and chosen me.  He loves me even in my wrinkled state, seeing my potential beauty.  Through my tears, my pain and even my protesting, the Quilter gently, but firmly irons and presses me.  I feel the hot trial upon me, steaming and working out the creases and folds of self-effort, pride and perfectionism.

After the trial is done, I am a fresh piece of fabric, ready to be used by my Creator.  I feel crisply awakened to a new sense of direction.  I am now ready to fulfill His purpose, not because of what I am but because of what He has formed me to become.  This is why I can say:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay [in remnants of wrinkled fabric] to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 

~2 Corinthians 4:7-9 [my interpretation in brackets]

Trials iron us out, making us not only useable but beautiful and glorious.  Through the painful steam, hardships work out our creased sinful nature and reshape us.  Not because of what we do, but because of what our God has done in and for us through the painful pressing.  It is a beautiful thing, worthy of being embraced and celebrated.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

~James 1:2-4

Although I cannot yet completely embrace trials joyfully, I know Steven Foster's song is no longer my theme song.  I am looking forward to the testing of my faith and the maturity it will bring me.  I am learning to stop trusting in my frail, wrinkled self and instead start trusting in the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power from God.  Hard times? Bring 'em on!

Need more encouragement?  Consider listening to this song about the blessings of hard times.  Just click on the link below:

"Blessings" by Laura Story